Little children give you headache, bigger children give you heartache.
Do you get hurt and worried, whenever your conversation with your teenage child goes the wrong way? Your child used to value your words, but now the simple conversation between both of you gets turned into arguments. We know that raising a teenager is not always easy. Their behaviour can be challenging.
If we remember our teenage time, we used to disobey our parents a lot. Later on, when we got mature, we realized that we were wrong. The sad part is that we never wanted to get into those arguments seriously. Therefore, keeping our experience in the mind, we need to understand that there is a reason behind a big change in our children’s behaviour.
During teenage, our children grow in all sorts of ways. All parents should set up a friendly environment for their teenage children to understand the coming change in them. A single mistake during their adolescence can harm them physically and mentally.
So, here we go with a complete guide for the parents to let them know about how to treat their growing teenage child to reduce the complications:
Why teenagers need special dealing?
During puberty, teenager’s behaviour is controlled by their many hormonal and biological changes. Along with the physical change, they experience emotional and behavioural change. They need special counselling to get ready for a biological and psychological change in their body.
Following is the list of physical and mental change, which can be observed in teenagers:
- The boy’s puberty starts between 10 to 14 year old; they grow taller, develop larger muscles, and get a deeper voice.
- The girl’s puberty starts between 10 to 13 year old; for most of the girls, the first evidence of puberty is their breast growth. They will start menstruating and their body will gain fat.
- Teen puberty is an exciting time, new emotions and feelings strike on the mind of teenagers. Therefore it affects their behaviour.
- Due to the change in their behaviour, they start having an attraction toward relationship.
- The area of the brain which is responsible for decision making and judgement remains partially developed during the teenage time. So, parents should always realise that the child has limited judgement making abilities and is gearing up to explore a new world. He will need a lot of support from parent to take on this journey.
SOME IMPORTANT TIPS TO RAISE YOUR TEENAGE CHILD
- TALK TO YOUR KID: If you are trying too hard to have a conversation with your kids and they just reply with a yes or no. Then it means most of the time your simple talks may get turn into crazy arguments. Firstly, we should set up an environment for decent conversation with each other. Then listen to what they want to say. As a growing individual, they also have their own opinion. Try to see from their perspective and respect their views.
- BE A FRIEND: Teenage is the time period when your kids want to spend more time with their friends. Because their thought process is still developing, they want someone who can hear and understand them without any judgement. That’s why they find friend’s zone better than their parent’s zone.
Now, what happens if they are into a bad friend zone? There will be no one who will make them understand it. That’s why you should try to spend more time with your kids, share your feelings with them so that they can also share their emotions with you like a friend.
- AVOID PUNISHMENT: Are you one of them, who beat and punish their teenage kids. You need to understand that now your child is growing into a teenager. Giving them more responsibility might be a better way for them to realise that they are important.
- GIVE THEM PRIVACY: During adolescence, teenagers start analyzing thoughts and create their own opinion and views. They want to be independent that’s why we should give them their own space. But you should always be informed about their activities. Your kid may be growing up. But still, you are the parent.
- SEX EDUCATION: Being a parent, we all know that it is the most important subject that we should talk about with our teenage kids. But we always get inhibited when it comes to talking about sex. Sex isn’t a taboo, but talking about sex education with your teen is not easy. But being a parent you have to do it. It would be easier with a 16-year-old teen. But it is important to talk earlier and often about it.
You don’t need to go very straight about it. Start it with a simple conversation and answer the questions that the kid may have. In this way, your teen will feel open and heard. Then your teen will talk about his/her fears about sex, sexuality and sexual orientation. Maybe your children can share about his/her relationship and heartbreak. Tell them about underage sex and its dangers i.e. teenage pregnancies and STD’s.
- PREVENTION FROM DRUGS & ALCOHOL: We all want our kids to stay away from alcohol and drugs consumption. But for teenagers, everything is an adventure. They want to experience everything once, just for the thrill. Most of the teenagers don’t want to discuss these topics with their parents.
But, Consumption of these things is very harmful to your children. For this issue, here you go with the full informative guide to solve it.
Following is the small guide to prevent our children from drugs and alcohol
PREVENTION FROM ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION:
- Keep a check on company of the child: while you will have to give some liberty to a child when he enters teens, you must always be aware of the friends he is keeping. Its more important in teens since at this stage of your life, he is listening to friends more than parents. Having wrong kind of friends to hang around can do serious damage to him.
- Tell them about the dangers of drinking and driving. Share any of your (or someone else’s) experience about it.
- Try to inquire if your kids know about drinking or not. If yes then tell them about rules about drinking.
- Teach them to say no: One of the things what will make your child face the world better, is his ability to form a judgement and say no. Resisting peer pressure is an extremely important life skill.
PREVENTION FROM DRUGS CONSUMPTION:
- Children who are not happy are more prone to taking drugs: If your child is not performing as per your aspirations, do not get harsh on him. Firstly, understand the reason behind it and then have a conversation about it with your child. Try to make him feel good and explain him about further opportunities.
- Tech you child about the worst-case scenario of using drugs: Tell them about the consequences of taking drugs can send them to jail and ruin their career.
- TEEN RELATIONSHIPS: At teenage, a child develops his/her exploratory nature. That’s why teenagers make very meaningful relationships at that time, which may stay forever in their life. Your little boy or girl may get attracted to his/her opposite sex during teenage. Maybe you don’t like his/her friends. But you can’t say your kid directly to stay away from them. Your kid can make a negative mindset against you.
You can tell your kids to invite his/her friends at home. It will help you to know about them. If still, you find them not good, then talk to your child. This time your kid won’t take it wrong. Because you’ve at least tried your best to understand his point of view. Your kid will understand it.
SPECIFIC TIPS TO RAISE YOUR TEENAGE GIRL
- Some girls get their first period at a very early age when they are 12 or 13. Talk earlier about their periods. It will help her to deal with her first experience of menstruation. Tell her about hygiene and the most important to keep a track of the menstrual cycle.
- Make her resilient; focus on her personality more than her looks. Allow her to deal with her relationships, breakups, and fights. It will help her to deal with emotions like pain, sadness, jealousy and anger when she experiences them.
SPECIFIC TIPS TO RAISE YOUR TEENAGE BOY:
- Talk to them about girls. Your boy should know how to respect his opposite sex (girls). Make your boy a gentleman. Tell him about the difference between a relationship and infatuation. So that he could make meaningful relationships for his future.
- Males are generally known for being tough. They can control their emotions. But it is not good to bury your emotion inside yourself. To be happy we all need to express our emotions. So tell your boy that it is okay to be emotional.